


Just Do It

by AndreaEssEmm



Series: I Am Going to Tell You a Secret [6]
Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Confessional, Explicit Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Graphic Description, Horny Teenagers, Loss of Virginity, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Original Female Character, Personal Experiences, Teenagers, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:49:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21664732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaEssEmm/pseuds/AndreaEssEmm
Summary: How one of my friends and I thought we'd pulled off the biggest teenage con, and lost our virginities in the process.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Series: I Am Going to Tell You a Secret [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1455649
Kudos: 16





	Just Do It

The night I lost my virginity, I was fifteen and about three weeks away from turning sixteen. Not that that makes it any better, but it's worth noting that I'd decided I was ready to make the leap to what I'd considered "adulthood." I sometimes feel as if my being allowed to watch Rated R movies, and being encouraged to read whatever I wanted had a hand in this. I'm not so sure, though.

I was hanging out with my then-friend Steph, whom I'd met around the age of twelve when we were attending rival parochial schools. Yes, dear reader, I spent my pre-teen years trapped in Catholic school hell. I wish I could say something profound like how religion is a big part of my life, but unfortunately, that's not the case. However, I _did_ walk away with a devotion to St. Bernadette Soubirous, and a predilection for religious-themed tattoos that includes a beautiful portrait of Mother Mary somewhere on my body. I also have a pretty cool holy card collection, too.

But anyway, Steph had her license, and she and I would cruise around town for fun. She had an older boyfriend named Rob who would sometimes hang with us. I remember the one time my dad saw him, he remarked, "He looks like a young John Belushi. I hope he and Steph don't reproduce." Compared to Rob's pudgy features, Steph's were very sharp, and her smile always made me think of a beaver, a sentiment that was also shared by my brother whenever Steph would stay over at our house. 

I recall that Rob had invited us out to a junior league baseball game, and Steph managed to convince him to bring along someone for me. This turned out to be his cousin, Jamie. I don't recall much about him except that I thought he was hot, his blue eyes were a nice shade of electric, and he was about a year older than me. My mental image of him reminds me of _Pleasantville_ -era Tobey Maguire, but without the wide-eyed, unnerving stare. I know he had a curfew and had to check in with his probation officer by a certain time that night, though. I really can't say much else to make him sound appealing. 

There had been a previous attempt to lose my virginity earlier in the year, but unfortunately, Jeff couldn't figure out how to put Pole A into Slot A, and ended up bumping his cock into the softness of my inner thigh. The whole thing was a bizarre disaster, but it resulted in a great inside joke when I made out my will for the senior yearbook two years later. For all I know, Jeff never realized that I was laughing at him when I wrote about my ability to "take a stab at it." 

Or maybe I was just too tight. The details are lost to time.

Anyway, Jamie and I hit it off in that way teenagers do when they're trying to impress each other, and Steph came up with the brilliant idea that we should extend the evening by going back to her boyfriend's house. I called my mom and lied to her about staying at Steph's house, and she lied to her mom about staying at mine, and off we zoomed into the night, thinking we'd pulled off the greatest con job in the history of teenagedom. We would find out the next morning that we hadn't. Somehow, I'd forgotten that my mom had raised my much older sister on her own, and was wise to these tricks.

We ended up back at Rob's place where Jamie checked in with his P.O. We were definitely staying in for the night, so we shut ourselves in a bedroom and put on Eminem's first CD. For real, I lost my virginity to The Slim Shady LP. Looking back, it was a precursor to the times I'd fuck Bobby while Insane Clown Posse was playing on his stereo. (Yuck!)

So Jamie wastes no time in making out with me. We're lying on the floor with a bedsheet thrown over us for privacy, his hand down the open front of my bell bottom jeans. He's not a bad kisser, and I notice that his tongue is poking into my mouth in time with the fingers he's stabbing my wet pussy with. I'm cupping him through his baggy shorts, and I can feel how hard he is. I can also feel that his cock is average-sized, and it's resting back against his belly.

"Do you wanna do more?" Jamie suddenly asks. 

"Like what?" I reply. I honestly don't know what he has in mind until he suggests that we have sex. "Okay, but you should know that I'm a virgin."

I don't recall Jamie's reaction to this revelation, but I'd like to think that he asked me if I was sure, and promised to be gentle with me. I'd like to think there was a mutual feeling of "Maybe we could go on a date at some point," but I know myself, and I know how I operated at the time. I just wanted to get it out of the way, and move on with my life. I'd placed no sentimental value on my purity and didn't view it as a gift for my first serious boyfriend, or my future husband. I didn't want vows or promises that we'd love each other forever; I just needed a willing participant. 

A part of me thinks that Jamie hesitated about agreeing to have sex with me, and that I had to convince him that I really wanted to go all the way, but I doubt it. This is something that I haven't really thought about during the ensuing years, so I'm using my own actions and behavior during later encounters as references for this piece.

Jamie grabs a condom- which I had in my purse- and we strip down underneath the sheet that's covering us. It's worth noting that Steph and her man were making out on the bed above us, and she cheered us on when it became clear what we were about to do.

I watch as Jamie rolls on the condom, and then I prop up my knees like he's instructed me to do. He kisses me before taking hold of his cock to guide himself inside of me. I recall having a vague thought before it all happened, and it was, Oh shit, this guy's gonna get through! There was no way this dude was gonna be like Jeff and miss the mark. He was determined.

I feel Jamie's cock push through, and despite the slight uncomfortable feeling, there really isn't anything spectacular about it. No Vatican choir singing "Hallelujah", no bells chiming, no ethereal voice saying, "Andrea, you're a woman now, and it's time to learn the mysteries of life." Nothing. The revelation is that I have a horny young dude humping away on top of me while my best friend is making out with her boyfriend on a bed above us, and I'm not even closing to cumming. I don't feel let down, but for lack of a better word, I feel "meh" about the whole experience. Indifferent, to be exact. The whole act is pretty lackluster, and I'm a bit bored. 

I've sometimes wondered if my first time would've been better if I'd waited for someone special, but then I realize that I probably did the right thing by hooking up with a guy I'd most likely never see again. We had no mutual friends between us, so I saved myself from gossip. As far as I know, Jamie dropped out of school- which I later learned was the same high school that I graduated from- so I never had to worry about seeing him with another girl. I recently revealed all of this to my best friend, and she was stunned by my indifference to the whole thing.

"It wasn't something that I viewed as special, and I just wanted it out of the way," I explained.

I don't try to moan or even touch myself while Jamie and I are having sex. I move my hips a bit, but it doesn't do much for me. I can't match his rhythm, or really feel much pleasure. I let my hands wander over his ass once or twice, pretending that I want him to go deeper, but there's not much fun in it, and anyway, I'm too lost inside my head.

"I'm gonna cum," Jamie whispers. "Are you ready?"

I chuckle and nod. Jamie pumps his hips a few more times before groaning dramatically and collapsing on top of me. I vaguely recall that Eminem was mock-crying about Susan's accidental drug overdose on the stereo.

 _That was my first time_ , I think to myself. _So that's that. One and done._

He pulls out and I put my clothes back on before getting up to use the bathroom. I'm weirdly disappointed to find that there isn't any blood after I pee. Somehow, based on the young adult novels I'd read that dealt with a character's loss of virginity, I thought blood would be gushing out of me like a Mexican flash flood. It took me awhile to figure out that I'd most likely broken my hymen the few times I'd tried to use tampons.

Clearly, Norma Klein and Judy Blume lied to me, and it hurts a bit when I pee.

"Let's go for a walk," Jamie says when I come out of the bathroom.

"Where's Steph?" I ask, and as if by magic, she pokes her head out of the bedroom.

"I grabbed a condom from your purse," she says. "Rob and I are gonna have sex, so clear out for a bit." I guess my own actions inspired her to lose her virginity as well.

"Okay," I say, leaning in to kiss her. Steph was bisexual, and kissing her was a sort of game for me. Though I don't consider myself to be anything, I do enjoy kissing women. I honestly think they're better at it than men, and I love the softness of their mouths. I can't say I've kissed any women lately, but I'm always open if the feeling's mutual, ladies.

"Thank you," Steph whispers after we part. "You're the best."

While Jamie and I walked around the dark neighborhood, asking questions in a vain attempt to get to know one another, I was quickly realizing that we had nothing in common, and that this whole experience would not only go down as the night I lost my virginity, but would also be my first one night stand. Somehow, I was secretly thrilled by this knowledge. I was actually starting to wonder about who else I could add to my list of hookups, though it would be over a year before I decided to have sex again.

In the end, my parents found out about what I'd done (I told you- my mom was wise to these tricks), I was grounded for about a week, and Steph and I were banned from seeing each other for the rest of the summer. Do I regret my actions? Not particularly, though I _do_ regret hurting my parents. You know what the worst sounds in the world are? It's the sound of my father sobbing because his baby girl had sex at the age of fifteen. It's the sound of my mother yelling "How could you?" while slapping the smirk off my face. To say that my relationship with my parents changed dramatically would be a huge understatement, but it's true. I know it took them a long time to forgive me, and to learn how to trust me again.

But that's the whole story, poor teenage decision-making, upset parents, a cracked friendship, and all.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if this particular piece feels like a bummer. I’d been struggling with it for a few months, and just really wanted it out of my files.


End file.
